The regular meeting of the SPG was held in the Gosforth Hotel at
8pm on Wednesday the 9th of January 2013.

Those present were
David Appleton, Brian Angus, Chris Wright and Tom Ashcroft.
Apologies were received from Adrian Morley, James Henry and
Mary-Clare Robinson. A selection of matters discussed is presented
below.

1) Alec. Members were pleased to learn from Tom, who had visited,
that Alec was happy and well settled in Abbeyfied. By this minute we
wish him good health and a guid New Year.

2) Photography. Tom described how the digital revolution had not
entirely displaced acetate film as a photographic medium. Perhaps
this topic arose because of the demise of Jessops.

3) Norovirus. The current outbreak ted on to the topic of outbreaks
of the virus on cruise ships. The thought of this led some members to
express the view that a cruise would be the last way the would take a
holiday. More robust members said they would consider for example
speciality cruises such as a Mediterranean cruise of historical sites.
4) Abuse of statistics. This was raised by David who described a
study on ClL. A friend diagnosed with the condition had been told
that a proposed treatment would lead to a 10% risk of other
malignancy over 10 years. David had researched the matter and
found that there was a similar risk in the general population over the same

period (age matched to that of patients presenting with Cll).

4) Dieting. David said he was on a successful diet with considerable
weight loss. This had allowed him to consume for tea that evening a
large pie made with pizza dough with a filling consisting of a high
proportion of vegetables (presumably some meat as well?). Some
members thought this sounded better than the usual 'dieting fare of
salad etc.

5) Jura Superstition. David has a friend who phoned him from the
supermarket to say that multipacks of this whisky were on offer and
would he like a pack at considerable saving The whisky takes its
name from various aspects of manufacture such as launch of the
brand on Friday the 13th, harvesting of the barley at the wrong time,
etc. David did not say whether he took up the offer.

6) Transport to and from the meeting. Transport to the meeting for
CD, DA and BA was by Maureen Angus and Kath Wright made the
return trip. Members are grateful for these generous favours.

7) Mary Clare. Now busy looking after her grandchild, Mary Clare
had extended her commitments by returning to reporting work.

Speciality beers were enjoyed, crisps and bacon rolls consumed. The
meeting closed at 10pm as usual.(Minute prepared by DA and BA)

Minutes of SPG Meeting . Gosforth Hotel 8.00pm Thursday  Feb 7^th 2013 .

Present: Chris Wright, Brian Angus, Adrian Morley.  Apologies from David Appleton, James Henry. Tom Ashcroft had obviously got his priorities right and preferred to go to the ballet.

As usual Brian and Chris were first and well into their first pint of “Landlords Choice” when  Adrian settled for “Wylam Special”. The NHS and Staffordshire problems were covered and the demise of the dedicated ward sister and on call consultant who effectively owned and ran the ward was deplored. Lack of continuity of junior staff, and patients spread over several wards meant that nobody felt responsible for their care. Greater patient expectation of almost limitless provision and ever increasing cost of drugs was unsustainable.

                Everyone had been pleased to receive Nick Wrights’ memoire of the RVI department of the 60-70s, and marvelled at his recall; as an example Adrian recalled the period when everyone was reading “The Lords of the Ring”, and the abstruse questions of relationships between Dwarfs etc which Nick could frame to the chagrin of those who thought they had read the books.

                How much longer would the skills of the histopathologist be needed, i.e.  the use of. a personal bank of images carried around in an unreliable cortex?.  It was generally agreed that the quality of digital imaging  was excellent and that vast amount of image information could be stored. However interpretation seemed difficult to program. Some  of us felt that expert systems such as neural networks might take over some aspects of diagnosis.

                Three dimensional reconstructions then came up. Brian mentioned the three dimensional reconstructions of glomeruli done by Adrian. The firm of Joyce –Loebl was discussed including the fact that the founder of the company had worked in the RVI biochemistry department. Brian reviewed the history of the company which had been taken over by an American company, and developed an image analysis system for the analysis of breast cancer markers.

                Chris Wright is now the technical editor for Histopathology, a position of unparalleled power, detecting an amazing numbers of errors and spelling mistakes. Adrian recounted the worst paper he had been asked to review by Acta Pathologica Scand. (a very prestigious Journal), which he considered  quite an honour. The paper by a group of Nordic Veterinary pathologists concerned renal disease in seals found dead in the North Sea and Baltic. Various types of glomerulonephritis, as found in man were described as well as Amyloid. The seals were somewhat decayed which did not improve the histology. This rambling paper tried to suggest that the seals’ diseases were related to pollutant phenols in the sea water released  from power stations  , without any evidence.  He eventually wrote a diplomatic report suggesting a short case study, and forgot about it until just before retirement when  he met the editor at an International Congress. He told this distinguished man how honoured he had been to be asked to do this review, “yes” he replied “ we could not send it anyone in Scandinavia, so we sent it to you”.

The new phenomenon of horsemeat in beef burgers was discussed, and the plethora of excellent ensuing jokes admired.  Brian’s favourite was “Say neigh to a horse burger”. (mare below)

Brian and Adrian shared a bacon sandwich equally although Brian’s half was much the larger. Chris was content with prawn flavour crisps.

The meeting closed  a little later than usual at 10.10pm

Went to the fridge to check my burgers, aaaaannndddd they're off!!

Horse meat found in Tesco burgers! What are the odds on that?
I had to go to hospital after eating a Tesco horseburger last night, but I'm in a stable condition now......
Tesco burgers, low in salt high in Shergar

Tesco, everything you want from a store and a little bit mare.

You think Tesco Horse Burgers are bad, you should try their Quarter Pandas.’

Tesco are now saddled with a load of burgers that they can't sell.

29% of the meat content in Tesco's hamburgers turns out to be horse?! No wonder they gave me the trots!

Minutes of SPG Meeting of Friday March 8th at the Gosforth Hotel 8.00pm

Apologies were received from Chris Wright. Present were David Appleton,  Brian Angus, James Henry and Adian Morley.

The beer favoured on this occasion was "Workie Ticket". As usual the door  to the snug was jammed. The members were mildly discomforted to find that the  kitchen had closed a 8.00 pm so bacon sandwiches were not available. Perhaps a  reason for not coming on Fridays? Brian  initiated discussion with some more Tesco Meat jokes, but he thought to himself  that members might be tiring of his unbridled presentation of these one-liners,  and that he should perhaps rein in his repetition of the quips; neigh mare Tesco  horse jokes then.  He then moved into a horror story. His neighbour had  erected an extremely ugly 40ft long shed which abutted on to Brian's boundary,  completely against the Darras Hall Estate Rules. There appeared to be no  real way of exerting pressure.

 Having touched on the role of NICE the name of Mike Rawlins came up and  David reminisced about giving croquet lessons to Mrs Rawlins and Mrs Wright, the  vice-chancellor's wife. This was in 1995 when David had been chosen to represent  Scotland in the world championships in France. As head of department David could  give himself a week off but play was to be from Saturday to Saturday so he would  require an extra day's leave. He consulted his head of school, Peter Blain, who  made the request to the VC on his behalf. What Peter actually wrote was "I think  the university would benefit from Dr Appleton's absence."

Adrian remembered Mike Rawlings  canvasing for the Liberals in Gosforth high street. After his knighthood David asked him the  correct form of address, Mike replied that anything would do as long as he  curtsied!

The departmental memoire by Nick Wright had been much appreciated, Adrian  mentioned the Tolkeinesque poem which Nick had produced (see end of theses  minutes). The poem had followed an acrostic on the cell cyle  which David had produced and now lost. The last couple of lines  were:

Meanwhile results must be got double quick,

Each cell cycle time with my compliments, Nick."

A music lesson from David

Adrian had(perhaps foolishly) mentioned his pleasure at a program on the history of music by Howard Goodall.

The ratio of the frequency of a note to the octave befow is 2:1 and the  ratio of a note to the fifth below is 3:2. If we go up 12 fifths from F on the  piano (F,C,G,D,A,E,B,F#,C#,G#=Ab,Eb,Bb,F) we arrive back at F. But (3/2)^12 is  129.75, not 128 as it should be for the 7 octaves we have covered. This means  that the notes must be 'tempered'. The current convention is to make all the  semitones equal. The possibility of this adjustment was known in Bach's time but  David was unhappy that in an otherwise enjoyable TV series on music composer  Howard Goodall had suggested that Bach's 48 preludes and fugues were written to  demonstrate its advantages. All the evidence points to Bach's preferred  temperament being much subtler that that. Apparently David been in touch with  another  aesthete who had written a book supporting this view. The subtly of  the arguments may have been lost on some of us!

It was proposed that The May 7th  meeting should be a meal in Corbridge. Adrian undertook to organise this,  possibly El Piccoloâ€� , Italian,  "Artisan", Chinese, or The Angel.

The Birth of Gandalf, or The Unholy Trinity

The days were long, his mind was keen,

And ventured into rarer air,

In Claremont Tower a light was seen,

Of unborne thoughts aglimmering,

Appleton , was thinking there,

Of programs of a type unseen,

By human eyes; and he would dare ,

To deal with Doctors, dwimmering.

Then Morley came from hospice cold,

And gave him data, countless sheaves,

And doom for Appleton then tolled,

He left the Tower, sorrowing,

And peered at computeks(1) dark green,

And saw with wonder lines of fit,

Upon the glands, and in the crypt,

 And on the prostate following.

He reeled upon his weary feet,

That Claremont road were doomed to roam,

As forth a further terror stood,

With eager eyes aglistening.

Through open door came this Orome,(2)

And fate lead Appleton to meet,

A dreadful being; with heavy moan,

He bent his forehead, listening.

He heard then oft this deadly sound,

As Wright came, and see he reaves,

The figures, as a hungry hound,

Whilst Appleton stands quivering

Behold the rending sigh he heaves,

And harken to the piteous sound,

And thus ensnared, young David grieves,

And hopeless stands forth shivering.

He thought then deeply, wandering far,

And wide beneath a bilious moon,

Of wanton acts and evil mar,

And retribution, troubling.

Abroad he walked across the ( town ) Moor,

And back until he reached the fence,

And came to the infernal door,

From whence blood issued, bubbling.

Thus Appleton approached the lair,

Where Wright and Morley, spinning yet,

Their webs of data, still the pair,

 Continued hard and sorrowless.

He trembled in the narrow way,

And yet undaunted did forbear,

To pass the Portal, looking fey

On pale corpse faces , morrowless.

Unhinged the door then Appletoncame,

His hand held power, an Adamant   ,

He called upon the deathless name ,                  (Chi-square)

And waited, standing , listening.

One moment stood they as a spell,

His voice laid on them ; still the same,

Sheer dread held sway; they followed him,

He led the way eyes glistening.

They reached the Tower gleaming , spare

And entered then his old domain,

A terminal was standing there,

At which he sat them, grovelling.

Twas there they learned of “t” and “f”,

And calculated sums of squares,

While Appleton ran free and wild,

Upon the green sward carolling .

Thus Childe David from the Tower

 Came singing in the early morn,

A weight had left his teeming mind,

Which yet continued forthcoming.

And yet the freedom lingered yet,

And Appleton could not forbear,

From entering a further Hall,

Of tedium, ever mathoming.

(1) I believe this was the name of the computer or at least of the terminals.

 (2) The Huntsman of the Valar, the brother of Nessa and one of the eight Aratar. In ancient times, he rode often in the forests of Middle-earth.

(3)This refers to the fact that at this time, DRA had started doing the stats for the Wickham Survey, led at that time by one Professor Reginald Hall.

 (4) A ‘mathom’ is a word in the Common Speech which means a useless present which one takes to a birthday party and may well have been taken therefore to many such parties, as any fule know.  Used as a verb here as I could not see the point of leaving what I regarded as hard science for woolly epidemiology (arrogant young sod I can hear you saying).

With apologies to JRT   N. Wright

Minutes of a Meeting of the SPG at Gosforth Hotel on Monday 1st of April at 8.00pm

Present. Brian Angus, David Appleton, Chris Wright , James Henry, Tom Ashcroft, and Adrian Morley

Adrian had received an  e-mail from Alec Watson, inadvertently sent following repair of his computer, he  was well and had taken a close interest in NWs memories of the Hepplestonian era.

   Somehow discussion  via way of Orang-utans got  onto the books of Terry Pratchett and in particular the “Wee Free Men” with  cries of “Crivens”and “O Waily Waily” Chris Wright recommended the  trans-Africa travels of Paul Theroux, “Dark Star Safari”, now 10years old and possibly out of date. Still topical because of his skeptical views on foreign aid.

      Provocatively Adrian  then referred to the Replacement of the autopsy by needle biopsy and Body scan.  CW had firm views on this in the field of pediatric pathology, and had written  unpublished letters to BMJ and Lancet. It is clearly erroneous that scans and biopsy furnish the same information as an autopsy. Those who had attempted post-mortem biopsy agreed.

       The continuing cold  weather led to a discussion of global warming and in particular the idea that it is man made.  Brian’s exposition of the case for natural variation in climate, though cogent failed to convince the majority; a general view was that  many of the measures were desirable in terms of good planetary  housekeeping.

     Some off us had missed  the April fool article in our papers whilst others claimed to  have spotted them at once. A number of previous examples were recalled.  For example Brian remembered that on one April  day  leading up to the London Olympics he came across an Article in the  Telegraph which lauded the offer by the Mayor of Paris to host the opening  ceremony for the Olympics in his city;  Brian was gladdened and impressed at  this apotheosis of the entente cordiale, and moreover European friendliness and  cooperation. His excuse is that he had just been woken to his paper and coffee  by his maid, and did not notice the date until later in the  morning. In keeping with his  promise (see previous minutes), Brian got the bit between his teeth and  steadfastly avoided saddling members with any more Tesco/horseburger  jokes.David Appleton recalled ther Groniad spoof of the Island of Sans-Serif, and its subsequent elaboration by the The Liverpool School of tropical Medicine into a major teaching project.

    The May dinner in  Corbridge was briefly discussed. Adrian recommended the Angel Hotel which had a  large extension, and parking both at the hotel and across the River (free). Details, menus and maps to be circulated  shortly. Adrian and Jean are to be congratulated on their diligent and  intensive research to establish the recommendation for the  venue!

    Beer consumed included Monkey Wrench, and Tiki, as well as Beck’s  Blue (the most expensive and least alcoholic.) Brian cheerfully accepted  the barman's offer of a half price bacon roll, but his elation was dashed when  the publican returned to say that the delicacy was on the breakfast menu and  thus not part of the "special deal". Brian was not consoled by the offer of a  half price chicken bacon and lettuce sandwich and resigned himself to paying  full whack for his preferred snack. Other members had  crisps

The  meeting closed around 10pm as  usual.

Meeting of May 9th at the Angel Inn, CORBRIDGE

The dinner was held in the restaurant of the above hotel. We had the whole of the extension area to ourselves. The menu was excellent and the service attentive..Conversation was free and at times noisy. Summary is impossible and no major conclusions were reached. The meeting ended convivially at about 10.30pm

 

Present. David Appleton.  Adrian and Jean Morley, Brian and Maureen Angus, Kathryn and Chris Wright, Tom and Margaret Ashcroft. David and Mary Robinson

http://www.theangelofcorbridge.com/

Minutes of a Meeting of the SPG  in the Gosforth Hotel Thursday July 4th

Present were Brian Angus David Applteton, Chris Wright, James henry and Tom Ashcroft

"Brian proudly showed some pictures of the wedding of his son Malcolm to  Jill Hutchinson, which had taken place on 10th of May at Close House. Having  shown two photos, Brian was surprised at the lack of demand to view the other  91. The wedding was a marvellous day, the location could not have been better,  and the weather was kind. The day started with the ceremony (1pm)and signing of  the register, followed  by photographs and the wedding breakfast (3.30pm, this  confused Brian as he had had his Cornflakes at 9am). There followed a disco and  barbeque starting 7pm with cutting of the cake at 9pm, after which Brian,  Maureen and her Mum and Dad climbed into a Mercedes stretch limo and headed home  exhausted. The festivities continued until 1.30pm. The official photos are  awaited, but here is a snapshot."

I am afraid that the rest of the meeting is a blank so as recompense I offer a cautionary tale composed while on holiday on Mull

How Staffa got its Hexagonal Columns
(A Cautionary tale)

     Shortly after the Earth had formed from the debris of the Big Bang, and  the ground was still warm underfoot, except that feet had not been invented,  in the warm primordial soup(WPS) the most advanced being was a primitive jelly fish who had not yet invented sex, and lacked ambition,  drive or empathy.  God, realizing that a considerable number of water bearing versions of Earth were forming, (he was after all omniscient and omnipresent) decided that a uniform plan was desirable and might serve for the later orderly development of sulphur, methane, and other environments.
Using his intelligence, which was considerable, he designed an earth of blue seas, green pastures, forests and continents of intriguing shape. Observing the protoplasmic nonentity in the WPS he realized that within a few million years this would become an entity of intelligence and insight, kindness and community spirit. This entity he was sure would appreciate the subtlety of the design which had gone into the development of his delightful environment. Only one difficulty presented itself. The elements of the Earth such as landscape, fauna, seascapes and mountains were all so beautifully coordinated  that as with any great art work it would look as if that was the way it was meant be. In short no one would recognize the beauty of the design and would put it down to the blind forces of nature.

      God pondered for a few eons and the thought arose that he should design something so strikingly original that intelligent design would be self-evident. A signature range of mountains seemed a bit obvious; pyramids seemed rather triangular though the idea of a trinity had some attraction.  Finally the hexagon was selected.  God was no mean mathematician ( indeed the only Mathematician) and realised that columns of hexagons was the most efficient form of  packing. The idea of an island composed entirely of hexagons combined mathematical sophistication with aesthetic value.  Like many designers subsequently God left the actual execution of his design to some-one else. Basalt, a fiery entity made up a large amount of the centre of the Earth. Although later to become rather static and petrified at this stage Basalt was a volatile, incandescent entity with a good grasp of the practical aspects of volcanism. Having received THE PLAN, Basalt set to with a will. Meanwhile God put his mind to distributing the dark matter, tweaking super-symmetry, and shifting the red a little to the right.
 

    Millenia passed and God returned to observe Basalt’s progress. Approaching from the west he observed a small but perfectly formed island, the sea washing gently against shiny black hexagonal columns rising vertically, in a delightfully symmetrical manner. Rounding the southern margin he encountered a cave extending deep into the island from which issued an ethereal sound as the wave movements echoed through the cavity. These sounds were later plagiarized as the basis of a piece of popular music by a traveling Viennese musician before the evolution of performing rights.  God could see his plan coming to fruition and felt a small glow of satisfaction, incidentally causing a nova and two black holes. Rounding the southern extremity of the island God was appalled to observe that the delightful vertical symmetry of the columns had been replaced by twisting spirals of asymmetrical and frankly irregular hexagons, forming arches, spurs and amazing convolutions never envisaged in the Almighties plan. In short it was a design disaster and could only bring shame and derision on the designer.

    He summoned Basalt the perpetrator of this abomination and demanded an explanation. Basalt, being more of an engineer than a mathematician had proceeded with the hexagon in its simplest form with equal sides, and having completed the island it had occurred to him that the omnipotent designer would have realized that hexagons could pack just as efficiently with infinitely variable lengths to the sides, though admittedly the columns would not be parallel or vertical, but being an enterprising entity he thought that God would like this aspect of his plan demonstrated. He was frankly surprised and distressed by God’s evident lack of appreciation.  He retired in a huff, and the resulting tectonic movements created the forerunners of the Andes.
 

     God pondered. If this sort of problem could arise in designing a simple island the problems of designing a complete biosphere were whole orders of magnitude greater, and the possibility of major cockups became certainties. The Lord looked around in despair for a solution. His gaze fell upon the WPS and looked for the protoplasmic nonentity. It was nowhere to be seen. Instead streamlined entities with iridescent scales flashed through WPS, and some of them had begun to crawl out of the WPS onto the dry land. God realized that the blind forces of nature had been at work and had helped the protoplasmic nonentity to develop into an entity which already had drive, ambition and sex, and might in a few millennia develop empathy and community spirit. Perhaps the solution was to let the blind forces of nature take their course. He foresaw all the drawbacks, the evolution of politicians, hedge fund managers, pathologists, and statisticians. With the dreadful example of Staffa in front him such horrors might occur even if he used Intelligent Design for he would have to rely on imperfect entities to perform his wishes.
“Bother Intelligent Design”, said the Lord ”lets see what evolution can do”, then he brightened realizing that he had just ordained the evolution of J.S.Bach.

 

l

Minutes of a Meeting of the SPG held in the Gosforth Hotel at 8.00pm Friday 2nd of August.

Absent   Adrian, Present Everyone else

  At the meeting on Friday 2nd August two resolutions were passed. The first was not to meet on Fridays, on which nights the normally quiet room seethes with people and in addition no food is available. The second was that we would pay another visit to the nearby Poons restaurant for our October meeting.

  There were certainly enough members present for decisions to be made. Even Mary Clare and David were there for the second half of the evening, making Adrian the only absentee. Members were touched to hear that Sir Nick had been complaining about the recent lack of minutes and determined to produce some – that is the members resolved to produce some; we are aware that Sir Nick could produce some himself even without being present, being expert in works of fiction.

   However, because of the general hubbub it was difficult for us all to hear each other and conversations fragmented. Brian had brought a photo of the photos of professors and readers, showing that those which had been printed by computer were deteriorating rapidly; he intends to replace them. Holiday experiences and planned holidays were to the fore at one point. Chris has been ringing cuckoos. James has bought a chromatic harmonica. Mary and David had eaten at Hitler's holiday resort; he was not present.

   In describing the current state of affairs of pathology south of the Tyne, James revealed that one program he has to use is still running in MSDOS. On being asked if a colleague, Dr X, was still working he replied that he had retired but it was difficult to tell the difference. This turned the conversation to insults. Among David's favourites is a story of Disraeli's comment on being given an unsolicited book by its author: "I shall waste no time in reading it". But he recounted one of his own lines about a colleague, Y, at Henderson Hall. At dinner one evening the sub-wardens were trying to organise an act for the hall revue, but were rather strung out along high table and communication was not perfect. One colleague enquired "Did you say Y can first tenor?" "Oh, no," said another, "I don't think Y is one of nature's first tenors." "Is Y one of nature's first anything?" asked a third. "Yes," said David, "one of nature's first attempts". Not all statisticians are kind, warm people, and possibly not all pathologists either, because this tale appears in the minutes by general request.

     Margaret collected Tom at 9.30; the remaining members departed just after 10 o'clock. The next meeting will be on Monday 2nd September.

 

Meeting of the SPG at the Gosforth Hotel  Monday September 2nd

8.00pm.
 

    Present: David Appleton, Chris Wright, James Henry, Tom Ashcroft and Adrian Morley
   Apologies from Brian Angus

   Drinks: Pennine Ale and John Smith. Motorists were on Beck’s Blue which DA admitted to having in his fridge.

 David started where he had left off with a “put down “administered at a meeting of Henderson Hall at which senior members were being exhorted by the warden to distribute medical cards to new students to provide medical cover. One stroppy individual exclaimed that he had never needed such nonsense!  “What a pity” replied the warden “ if you had you might still be alive today”
  Chris Wright had been reading the travels of Patrick Leigh-Fermor.(Strongly recommended) His involvement with the capture of a German general in Crete resulted in lifelong friendship on finding they both could quote Horace. PLF was a man of ebullient personality, an unstoppable conversationalist, and had an amazing memory for poetry in several languages. ( See biography by Artemis Cooper)
   Adrian had been to the Treshnish islands and Staffa seeing amazing collections of Guillimots and Puffins. CW brought us up to date on the rare Roseate Tern  and other colonies. Elec Watson’s expertise is missed to counter balance this expertise.
  The news of Malcolm Allisons retirement led to reminiscence of NW and research.  Inventive methods of maximising research grants were discussed , and the propriety of some these.  Perhaps NW would like to comment, and  tell us what he’s doing now.
David Had recently visited Portsmouth and seen the Mary Rose , Warrior ands Victory. From the mass of preserved remains David had selected an obsolete reed instrument called a “Doucaine, which he hopes to copy. Adrian mentioned the amazing preservation of the “Vasa” in Stockholm, and the reasons it capsized.
  The recent death of Professor Ian Rannie  aged 97  was discussed. Younger members were not aware of his origins as a senior lecturer in the department pathology at the RVI and his move into dental pathology on the arrival of Prof. Heppleston. Ian Rannie had been ARM’s student  tutor, an entirely nominal post in the 1950s. His interest and long connection with Hungary and Budapest medicine was remembered. The present dental School's rather grey outlook is a lasting memorial.
   The view that 10,000 hours of practice will make you a champion in sport, music etc has recently been advanced. None of subscribed to this. It seems to be a minimum requirement combined with talent. Hot spots, such as Gareth Bales school were cited  as well as the street with several champion table tennis players

It was agreed that the next meal would be in the first week of October and that CW would organise.